I got the BLUES.........................…

I am at a lost really. You have great family and friends from what I gather. Why can't you suggest to your husband that he get your family and friends together and plan something just for you. You are miserable over some birthday party or junket that may not come together the way you wanted and that is crazy. This is not about a party, you need to share your misgivings on getting older with someone who will listen and care. Hopefully you will be grateful for what you have and not sweat the small stuff.